I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
