I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
