Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
