if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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