Me too!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
