I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
