She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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