how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
