Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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