mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
