glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
50% drunk capacity currently
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
