Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
