escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
