Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
