We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
