alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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