I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My life is pants optional.
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