they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
