you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
