we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
