Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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