Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
