I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize