i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
