Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
