i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
