two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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