I just saw a hot homeless man
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Someone signed my nipple.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize