bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
