Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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