I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
