Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
