I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
