Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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