It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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