Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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