In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
