That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
