i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
