No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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