He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
