I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Boobs are out for the taking
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
