Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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