she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
