I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
