my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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