it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
