Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
zippers are such a cool invention
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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