Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
