I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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