you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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