She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize