So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
