i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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