Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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