I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
