If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Green mimosas i think yes
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize