you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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