i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he was CRYING into my vagina
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
