I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
