Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
